Chaotic Angel Excitement!
I'm not going to fault you for the begining, only because I know exactly how diffcult and annoying those are. The choice of instruments worked out well, but the whole thing nees more energy. Put more instruments into the beat - blood overdrive that thing. Heck, blood overdrive the whole thing! Change the melody up every 3rd run through or so. You are on the right track, just don't be afraid to throw things in there.
